I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
