Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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