best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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