Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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