Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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