The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
