Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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