are you so shy because you have an std?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
