if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
