So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
