doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
