ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
