she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
