so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Randomize
