She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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