I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
