ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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