My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
