I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
being pregnant is like rehab
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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