margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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