apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
