I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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