Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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