So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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