You're my little dorito
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
