is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
