Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
