Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
