If i come over, it means nothing
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
