Don't you send me to vm
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
