Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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