I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
