thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
