Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
