Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
