Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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