Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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