she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
