I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
