The brown eye won't let me do that either.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
So many bounce houses so little time
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
