names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
