my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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