i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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