yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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