also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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