At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
