May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
