he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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