You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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