he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
