Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
